Ikea's meatballs

Ikea's Swedish meatballs

There is a saying that it is easier to get out of drugs than out of Ikea - ROTFL - so true! The other motto for Ikea is "Didn't realise I NEEDED this" or "Just buy it"!

Anyway, let's concentrate on the task at hand and leave Ikea's commercial genius for others to wonder at. For, I just want to wax lyrical over these meatballs .... my FAVOURITE, mashey potato, gravy surrounded, cranberry sauce accompanied, heartening, hopefully not horse meat (This is what I mean), Swedish meatballs! Will my preference for these pre-made wonders of Viking heritage ( ahem, cough cough) make you despair and doubt at my culinary tastes for the first time? Or was it that salad post which you still haven't got over?

Oh wondrous meatballs, how many times have you given me that much needed ballast after I have almost bankrupted myself buying stuff I had no clue I needed until I saw it on an Ikea display/shelf? Oh, how many times have you saved me from falling over in exhaustion in the desperation to find the perfect sized bed/table/chair/toilet seat. And how many times has your satisfactory heaviness stopped me gymnastically lunging at that last unpronounceably named table mat which I didn't really need? Ah yon wondrous brown balls (of hopefully not horse-meat) have oft filled my tum and will continue to do same in my annual peregrinations to Ikea Heaven/hell.

Thank you, Ikea!

How to make your very own Yoghurt

Homemade creamy yoghurt

Years ago, I was stupid enough to buy a pot of commercial yoghurt to use as a starter to make my own yoghurt. Of course it didn't work - why? Most commercially found yoghurts don't have live/active cultures. How crazy is that? But I was 20, foolish and gave up! Many years have passed - don't ask me how many - and somewhere in my head, a little light bulb lit up the other day. What with global warming and plastics ending up in baby birds' tums, thing is, I am trying very hard to get to a zero waste household and eliminate ALL plastic from my life, a not very easy task. Big business is hand in glove with the government in trying to ensure that our consumer and comfort addiction is fuelled by plastic wrapped vegetables, food in plastic containers and packaging, plastic in this and plastic in that - insidious entries into our lives which make it easier yes, healthier? Not so sure. So, I assessed all the plastic in my house and over the past few months, have been eliminating it and looking for alternatives like refill food items/detergents/creams etc but, there seems to be no alternative for yoghurt except in glass pots. Definitely better alternative to plastic tubs but what to do with the glass pots after you have eaten the yoghurt? How many candles can I make of those pots and give? Will I be known as the Candle Lady? Scary thought!

So the other day, a lightbulb lit up in my slowly working brain. 'Clingggggg' it went. 'CLINGGGGG' it went, more insistently! Being older and wiser and only buying organic for many years, I bought an organic yoghurt as my starter. And this time, it worked! This morning, I ate a rich and creamy yoghurt which tasted 10 times better than any yoghurt I have every bought! Ok, I am exaggerating- but it was pretty good.

I prefer to make my yoghurt at night in case I need to use the oven- which is where you will leave your yoghurt to set. I also like to wake up in the morning to the magic of having created yoghurt. You can say incantations over the mix pre putting it in your oven to give it that magicky feel or just coz you are a wacko - who cares!

What you need and no, a plastic yoghurt maker hasn't been used in, around or anywhere near this post: 
1. Tbsp of organic yoghurt of the type which comes in a glass pot. Leave it outside the fridge for a few hours.
2. Full fat milk ( you can use semi or non fat but why?)
3. A saucepan to heat the milk
4. Pre warmed ( not heated) oven to maintain a steady temperature for your bacteria to multiply
5. An earthen bowl or glass pots or mason jar or stainless steel pot for being God and creating the actual yoghurt.  

This is going to be a VERY technical post so put on your reading glasses and PAY attention:

Heat the oven for 5 minutes at full heat then switch off. Meanwhile, heat the milk till it is warm enough to put your finger in without burning. Room temperature is too cool. Add a tablespoonful of the starter yoghurt. Mix with a whisk till the yoghurt has fully dissolved. 
Pour into your designated recipient or recipients.
Put a lid. Wrap in a thick towel to maintain a steady temperature for about 5 hours and put in the oven. 
Next morning, put the recipient/recipients in the fridge once the yoghurt has set, making sure to keep the lid/s on, else the yoghurt will take on any smells in your fridge. 

If you are going to make yoghurt in leftover glass pots - they look cute and you also don't want to be called the Candle Lady/Sir/Weirdo, you can use some muslim or be creative and use any thick fabric, set in place with reusable elastic bands or yarn ( looks vintage-y), before putting the yoghurts in the fridge. Voilá - enjoy!

My cute pots with leftover jean material

Dedicated to Salad Haters

Octopus salad with soya vinaigrette in Restaurant 'La Mar Salada'

You knew this was coming, right? So just let me get this out of the way real fast and then we can get back on track again.

The world is divided between those who like salad and those who don't. Therefore, this post is dedicated to those who don't like salad coz you salad lovers are already on my side ;-)

So, salad haters, why do you hate salad so much? Is it because salad and diets are so inextricably linked in our current culture? Is it because as far as you are concerned, a salad is just some watery lettuce with onion rings, olives, tuna and hard tomatoes (typical salad in Spain and one which I personally loathe for its lack of imagination)? Or is it coz you just hate the taste of 'salad'?

As far as I am concerned, a salad can be the quickest, most nutritious one-plate meal you actually don't need to cook and, has fed my body and soul many a time. And I really believe that you just cannot NOT love a good salad when I have finished with you and this post!

Let's de-compose a western salad into its constituent parts so you can understand what exactly makes a salad a good salad. Know thine enemy, right?

Spinach, chicken and ricotta salad with orange and oil vinaigrette

Part 1: The Leaves/Greens:
This IS a salad. You gotta have some greens! Make that 50% of the solid ingredients. And please, don't tell me that that cold pasta dish with some tuna thrown in is a pasta salad because I will whack you. Hard. 
There are SO many leaves to choose between and not just that damn iceberg lettuce that most people use. I personally find no use for an iceberg except as chow for your pet snail or tortoise. C'mon people, be BOLD and go for some or other variation of those found here ! Which reminds me, in which universe will the banana die out but not an iceberg? 
Leftover veggies are kickass in a salad. Or just raw - tomatoes, celery, mushrooms, avocado, fennel.. You can steam/roast/ grill most veg and once it has cooled down, add it to your salad.
Fruit - you can even add a handful of fruit and it's still a salad and not dessert! Swoon. Most fruits go well except bananas, durian or anything fleshy. Try mandarin segments or cherries ( in which case don't add honey in your dressing or raisins/prunes as extra), or strawberries or any berries and you'll be in heaven!

Steamed broccoli with crispy tofu, feta & sesame oil

Part 2: The Carby base:
This will make your salad into a meal rather than a 1st course, if that's what you want. Make sure it is about 20% of the solid ingredients.
Again, tons of elements to choose from:
Rice - brown, wild, red, white - you choose
Potatoes - boiled, steamed, with peel, without..even straw potatoes, for god's sake!
Croutons - garlicky? oven? fried? None? I opt for none coz I generally hate croutons. Shhh, don't tell anyone.
Couscous - wholemeal? normal?
Quinoa - very nutty
Pasta - you wanna Penne? Campanelle rings your bell? Conchiglie makes you come out of your shell? Jeez, try any of those here, they DON'T bite. 
Polenta - please cut into bite sized pieces.

Part 3: The Protein:
This should be about 25% of the solid ingredients unless you are adding cheese, which should be 10%
a. The protein will give you muscle. And that's not a promise.
Some ideas:

Spring greens salad with nuts, Barton restaurant

Fish - ANY, tinned, fresh, fried, roasted, smoked..
Beef, pork , chicken, turkey...
Vegetarians can add: Eggs, tofu, seitan, quorn, lentils, any beans, chickpeas, tempeh..
b. Cheese: Any and every except the really gooey ones. Holy Moly, here is a very cheesy cheasecyclopedia to help you choose. WARNING: Only a small handful else the meal becomes very calorific and you don't want that. 

Part 4: The extras:
5% or a tablespoonful.
Nuts, seeds, raisins/ prunes/dried apricots and other dried fruit. Candied fruit: No bloody way!

Ricotta, parmesan and pear salad with a sesame dressing

Part 5: The Dressing:
BEST bit! But please don't drown your salad in the dressing. Just coat it AND IN THE LAST MINUTE! Else the God of Wilted Salads will pay you a visit.
You can add mayo if you want something unhealthy and bland but I advice you to leave the mayo where it belongs, with tuna ;-)

The vinaigrette decomposes into:
a. The oil - Healthy examples would be - olive, walnut, sesame, peanut, hazelnut oil. Any infused oil will do too, anything except coconut oil because UGH
b. The acid - vinegar ( wine, balsamic, apple...), lemon, lime, acidic yoghurt (leave it out for the whole day), tart mashed tomatoes..
c. Salt - normal? himalayan? flakes?

Feta, walnut, raisin with balsamic and mustard dressing

black - kinda strong as it tastes like a fart
d. Optional spices - pepper, paprika, chilli, cinnamon ( in minute quantities), cumin
e. Optional herbs - coriander, parsley, basil, chives, thyme and rosemary in minute quantities since they can overpower a salad...
f. Optional condiments - mustard, soya sauce, fish sauce  ( use with caution), Worcestershire sauce, even honey ( coz I don't know where to put this so will just chuck it here), tartar etc

Mandarin and pine nut salad with balsamic/oil vinaigrette

The rule of thumb is generally 1 part acid to 3 parts oil and the rest as you will. Experiment and see what quantities you prefer. I find that adding mustard means that I need to reduce the vinegar while adding lemon instead of vinegar means I need to increase the oil ratio. 

Still think salad is iceberg ( damn you , Iceberg: You have ruined the appetites of many and I hope you go to hell) and some tomatoes? Feeling frisky and wanna try something new with my simple guidelines? GO FOR IT. Be like Nike: JUST DO IT

Roast vegetable salad with balsamic/oil dressing

Fig, endive & sunflower seed with olive oil/passion fruit vinaigrette

Thai raw papaya salad in Brussels

Some thoughts on sushi

I recently read that the Japanese government is so sick of foreigners messing up their cuisine that it will protect its reputation by setting up a tough new certification system for overseas chefs. And too bloody right! How many times have you eaten sushi where the rice has been over cooked? I mean, HOW many times? Sadly, I have rarely eaten sushi where the rice is perfectly cooked. :-( Where you can taste each grain individually as you savour the filling and the saltiness of the soya sauce along with the pungency of the wasabi. There have been sadder times when the sugar in the rice has been overdone or the vinegar. The photo shows one of the few times when not just the rice but my Uramaki sushi was JUST PERFECT - and strangely, the eel and foie melded very well in the palate. 

Here is a page which has 100 different types of sushi with nice, big photos. OOOH YA

Tuna sashimi in 'Nanaya', Barcelona

For a few years now, I have been going to a tiny Japanese restaurant where the food has always been excellent and the service hyper efficient. Unfortunately, seems the chef has changed and so has the menu :-( But no one can take away the memory of the yummiest Tuna sashimi that I had. Just look at that red, glistening flesh. 
RIP Yummilicious Tuna Sashimi.

One of my favourite makis when I am quite hungry, since this is a rather filling dish, is the Dragon Maki at 'Shanghai 1930' restaurant in Barcelona - yes, in a Chinese restaurant! But before you throw up your hands in horror, just hear me out - nicely cooked and well seasoned cooled rice is stuffed with prawn and mayonnaise and then wrapped in the thinnest slivers of fresh avocado. And then generously sprinkled with crunchy onion. Yummy! Aren't we lucky that the Japanese invented sushi? 

Dragon Maki at Shanghai 1930

Random sashimi to make you salivate

And the torture continues with more random sashimi

And lastly, a beautiful video: 

Some exceptional sandwiches

On the Eighth day, he made bread. And on the Ninth, a sandwich....

The Bosphorous

Turkish fried chicken and chilli sandwich

A few years ago, I went to Constantinople (which sounds wayyyyy better than Istanbul) and had this crunchy chicken and fried chilli sandwich. It was a cold and blowy day as I faced the Bosphorus, trying to take in the history of my setting and hoping that that damn wind would stop blowing. The wind didn't stop doing its job but this sandwich happily added some much needed heat to my body. 

A few years even before that, I had this kickass sandwich called 'bifana' in a little bar in Lisbon. It is a stewed pork sandwich and just what you need when you have been driving a car for hours and desperately need a quick pee and then a pick-me-up. Accompanied by a cold beer.I can still feel that crunchy bread and that firm meat ...scarf!

Indian 'Zaiqa' roll

And somewhere between these two sandwiches, in India, I had a 'zaiqa' roll from a street vendor. Curried chicken rolled up in 2 minutes flat! Who knows where his hands had been and who knows what all he had added but I didn't care that day. Street food rocks and whoever tells you to the contrary, please refer him/her/it to me and I will give them a stern lecture. You see, I am good at stern lectures on food. 

Post christmas Turkey sandwich

One fine day, it is the day after christmas and you wake up still not sick of turkey. So you do what a friend of mine does - make a turkey meal sandwich. In goes the turkey, the stuffing, the gravy- hell, chuck in whatever you have left in the fridge, on the countertop, in the pantry...make several layers and munch away. 
WARNING: Not for the small-mouthed as you need a rather large mouth to take a bite. 

Chinese steamed breads should be a category all on their own but this is about sandwiches and the below two were just too awesome to not include. The one of the left is actually a stuffed bread, stuffed with mostly Chinese water spinach, garlic, onion and soya sauce. 

Stuffed Chinese bread

Chinese bun with squid

On the right is one of the best smoked sweet bun with inky squid that I have ever tasted. This delicacy is found a very special restaurant called Ignició, which boasts a smoked kitchen where all food comes out smoky and heavenly.. Madrid squid sandwich, eat your heart out!

Budapest, summer, late night: My son and I were hungry and we were wandering around when we espied a type of food fair going on. We just wanted something light so, seeing a type of calzone, went for it. It was lovely - roast veg and meat and just what any doctor would recommend ;-) especially washed down with a cold beer

Hungarian calzone

And last but not the least, a very special mention to the Rancid Sardine ('sardina ráncida') sandwich that I ate, a while ago, in Zaragoza. It is basically marinated sardine in a crunchy bun and the bar is very famous for it, The Lince. Try it!

Rancid sardine sandwich of Bar Lince in Zaragoza

Brekkie time!

French toast

Breakfast has got to be my favourite meal of the day and not only do I slowly prepare everything but also,  I take time to eat it. A long time ago, a dear friend taught me how to make French toast and oh my, was it a revelation! And when made with love, oh soooooo good. And oh soooo simple, like all the best dishes. Here is my favourite recipe:

Serves 1

1 egg

1 knob of butter - you can choose how big that knob is ;-)

2 pieces of white bread ( has to be white, brown just doesn't work and makes this decadent dish way too healthy for a weekend)

2 tablespoons of milk

Cinnamon

Maple syrup (to add at the end). I make sure my maple syrup is organic as the non organic one is full of pesticides - Yikes!

Crack the egg in a shallow bowl, add the milk and cinnamon and give it a good whisk. 

Lay one piece of bread in this and thoroughly coat on both sides.

Melt the butter in a pan and add the prepared bread.

Coat the other piece of bread on both sides till the egg mixture has been thoroughly absorbed. 

Lay on the pan and cook till golden brown. Drizzle with as much maple syrup as needed.

Marbella fry up

Sometimes there is nothing better, after a hard night of partying in Marbella, than a good ol' fry up. Doesn't that look divine? My arteries clog with happiness just by looking at this photograph. Marby has so many Brits that this brekkie is an easy one to get anywhere. Here in Barcelona, a place serving a good cholesterol fest is a bit tougher to find but they exist. Halleluiah, there is one near my house!

At other times, especially on a Sunday and an hour before I go for a run, I make myself some pancakes. Here is a nice and easy recipe with video to boot - don't tell me I don't make things easy for you. 

On normal working days, I go for something simpler - some good thick 'give you hairs on your chest' German rye bread and butter, toasted on a solid pan like in times gone by. Always accompanied by freshly ground organic coffee - you can't beat the taste of freshly ground coffee! Sometimes I add some cheese or a yoghurt for that much needed calcium that our ageing bones need. On that glum note, here is another photograph to cheer us up and make us hungry!

An ode to Caesar Salad

Orgasmic Ceasar salad

Ok, HATE me but I am a fan of salads. And it's not because I am a health freak or whatever. It is just that there is nothing like a good, crunchy salad to fill your craving for something fresh as well as that urge to eat something RIGHT NOW without a lot of cooking. I am a great fan of the 'right now' style of cooking. Most salads are like that, toss whatever you have in your fridge (make sure there is something green, for form's sake), mix some vinegar or lemon with some oil and toss it over your leaves IN THE LAST MINUTE, for god's sake! Anyone who marinates their salad should be imprisoned as there is nothing sadder than leaves wilting with the salt and acid of a dressing. Ok, ok there is one other thing which when wilted is pretty sad but, I digress...

So, getting back to a caesar salad..it is the king of salads for me, even though I am not a huge fan of the anchovies needed for the dressing. I love the classic but gimme a chicken caesar and I will scarf it before you even ask me what the word 'scarf' means. A simple recipe I quite like is here

The above photo has got to be of one of the best Caesar salad's I have ever eaten, in La Mamounia hotel in Marrakesh, about 5 years ago. The romaine was crispy, the parmesan milky and firm, the croutons freshly made, accompanied by an oven roasted broiler chicken quarter....they even added some plum tomatoes gratuitously but hey, delicious sun-ripened tomatoes are NEVER to be disdained. It was so good that even today, I get transported back to this wonderful hotel and city. Which brings to mind, how often is it that one eats a Caesar which is not fit for even a poor, starving beggar? Oh too often :-( I still remember the time I had to return a 14€ supposed 'Caesar' which was, in reality, iceburg lettuce with half a pot of watery mayonaise and some oily croutons - barf! I was OUTRAGED and after demanding to talk to the chef, gave him a stern lecture on Caesars and, the management, on trying to sodomize me- in front of my very embarrassed friends. Hrumph!

La Mamounia courtyard