Some random beauties

The other day, I revisited a place I hadn't been to for ages, to order a tapa I hadn't eaten in ages but which had stayed in my head as THE tapa to eat. Tis called 'Pop a la brava' which translates as octopus on a 'brava', the 'brava' being the Spanish version of the English chip. You must like/love octopus to like this dish but even for those who don't like octopus, trust me, you will have an orgasm eating this. Imagine a firm and tender slice of octopus on a crunchy but tender piece of potatoe, with a spicy binding sauce in between. Yummmmmmm. Definitely worth the nearly 12€ you fork out for 6 bites of heaven.

Recently too, I had this yummy and wondrously stodgy 'tapa' of what the Spanish call 'Russian salad' but is unheard of in Russia. Boiled taters, boiled veg like carrot and peas plus lashings of mayo and there you have it, a dish to see you through any Siberian winter. Add a delicious cava and voilá!

I am not in general a fritter fan but once in a while, who can refuse hot and crispy fresh squid with an unctuous sour cream dip next to it, accompanied by my favourite summer rosé cava? 

The king of (non dairy) milks- Hail Horchata!

Tiger nuts

Spain has a wonderful tradition of drinking 'horchata' of 'chufa' or Tiger nut milk. 
Sounds cool, huh, TIGER NUTS- but, never fear, no tiger has been unmanned ( untigered?) for this delight so PETA adherents, calm down. Funnily enough, these nuts are not even nuts but the tubers of a sedge family! The plant was first introduced by the Arabs in the region of Valencia and over time, the resulting milk/drink, which is very popular in summer, can be found everywhere in Spain. Though grown in many countries, especially for animal feed, tis just in Spain that the tubers are harvested for their milk. Once the sun has started sliding towards the horizon, people start coming out of their homes and mill around 'horchaterías' which sell this cooling drink, along with ice cream. 

As you can guess, I LOVE this milk but generally find that most places make it so sweet that just one sip gives me diabetes. Argh. And then a few years ago, a friend told me that the 'Horchateria' near my home also does the sugar free version so imagine my delight when I asked for it! Over time, my order has come to be half of the sugary one, mixed with half a glass of the sugar-free one and I am in heaven! 

Recently, I wondered if I could make my own. At 1.90€ for a 100 ml glass, it ain't cheap and frankly, anyone who has made soya milk can easily make this so I decided to go for it. Weirdly enough, finding organic 'chufa' was not easy but I found a place. The nuts themselves definitely look like dried dwarf tiger nuts ( ergo the name?), or even monkey nuts. LOL And yes, you can eat them raw and I wonder why most people don't since they are so tasty, like a more intense and sweeter almond. Yum! Here goes the making of:

Makes 1 litre
Ingredients:
125 gms tiger nuts
1 litre water
6 drops stevia + 1 teaspoon muscovado sugar (optional) or demerara or refined sugar. Please, no saccharine or chemical crap - UGH UGH
Method:
Soak the nuts in water for 24 hrs and make sure to change the water 2-3 times.
Do a final rinse the next day and put them in your blender with a cup of your litre of water.
Blend away till you get a thick and mostly smooth sludge.
Add the rest of the water and mix well. And now for the fun! Sieving! Woot woot! 
Once you have sieved the milk, add the sugary stuff to your taste or don't. DON'T chuck the leftover dried sludge - integrate it into your pancake or bread mix or why not, to your chicken à la coco (tiger) nut - it's delicious!
I also add poppy seed, chiia and or finely chopped almonds to my horchata as a post workout drink full of all the goodness and protein that the expensive, chemical laden protein shakes claim to have. And why not blend it with a banana? Sluuuuuuurp

Easy peasy Brown seeded bread

Makes 1 large yummilicious loaf
Ingredients:
400 gms wholewheat flour
100 gms white flour
7 gms of dried yeast
11/2 tsp salt
300 ml warm water
1 tbsp olive oil or butter
2 tbsp poppy seed
2 tbsp sunflower seed ( you can add a combo of whichever seeds you like)

Method:
Mix everything except the water in a large bowl. 
Now add the water and form a dough which should be soft.
Kneed for 8-10 minutes until elasticky. 
Now cover your bowl with a wet tea towel, pop the bowl in a warm place ( mine is the oven) and wait for an hour for the first rise. Watch a film/serie, knit or whatever to take your mind off the time.
Now grease a large bread tin and plop your mix in. Yes, 'plop' can be used as a verb too.
Sprinkle some more seeds onto the surface of your dough and press them lightly in.
Cover with the wet tea towel once more, pop back in your warm place ( ahem) and wait for the proofing which should take another hour.
55 minutes into your proofing, heat up your oven. Don't forget to add a baking tin with water in it. This is a baker's trick to get a lovely crusty bread and the only way a home baker can make their oven compete with a professional steam oven. 
Bake at 200ºc for 30-35 minutes. 
When your alarm rings, carefully take out your tin and tap the bottom for a hollow noise which means the bread is done.
ENJOY!

Below is a version I made with just white flour and flax seeds, poppy seeds, sunflower seeds...mmmmmm

The bare truth about croissants

Croissants in Port Leucate Sunday Market

Did you know that croissants are made not just with butter but also with margarine and wait....lard? Yes, pig's lard. Oh horror! The person who invented this wondrous light and flaky creation has been turning in her ( of course, it is a woman!) grave ever since the Spanish, to name just one, got their hands on the recipe and mistreated it. Grrrrrr. In this post, I will show you the 3 main aberrations that go under the name of 'croissant' and how you, as a self respecting Croissant Cognoscenti (CC), can discern the true croissant from the non faithful.

Being a gourmand ( a fancy French word which just means that I am obsessed with food), how can one resist croissants for breakfast? Every day would be abuse but tis a guilty pleasure on weekends when these go, oh, so well with freshly ground Colombian coffee ( ooh la la indeed) and general waking up. Therefore, in my quest for the perfect croissant, I have travelled the length and breadth not just of Barcelona but of many, many places. Alas and alack, imitations abound but the discerning CC will always find her/his perfect bakery and the nearer to home, the better.

So, have a hasty bite or two of something sustaining and do sit down in a quiet and comfortable place for, the following info on the 3 worst sinners is not for the fainthearted! 

Number 3: The bun pretending to be a croissant or the Bunsant: 

This baked item is often found in airports. It is normally made with margarine but for what it costs you, it could have been made of liquid gold. The texture is dry and it leaves a funny, plasticky coating in your mouth which you try to desperately ignore, along with the desire to direct very foul language at the establishment that is playing with your evident jet-lag. To add to the insult, it can come accompanied by some very foul coffee but at this point, you are so tired that you bow your head and accept this fodder. Community service recommended for those found selling this.

Number 2: The almost butter or the Half Half: 

This item is generally found in industrial bakeries and bars. It looks kinda right - tis flaky, it doesn't run away when you prod it but when you, the discerning CC, bite into it, warning bells ring and a rather impolite word or two comes to mind. For what do we have here but sneakiness basking itself as a croissant when in reality, tis made with half margarine and butter but named and costing the same as a real croissant! Oh my, the evil of some bakers! I firmly recommend a 5 year prison sentence for those found practising such aberrant baking practises!

And now, for the worst. The one that beats all in evil, of intention, of taste, of look...I recommend the death sentence for anyone found not just making but touting this...this thing! Are you ready?

Number 1: The ones made of lard or the Crab croissant, also known as the WTF for short:

These, Ladies and Gentlemen, and especially if you are a practitioner of a religion forbidding the consumption of pig, are pure evil for not only do they not have an atom of butter but they also have a sticky, sweet coating/ glaze to which your hair will most definitely stick as you barf this out after the first horrible dry bite. And like a terrible rosé giving you indigestion, this thing will leave an oily coating in your mouth for the rest of the day that no amount of coffee will remove. The worst is that they abound everywhere in Spain though, their very particular crab shape will betray them instantly so watch out! 

To tranquillise you, here is a photo of a particularly good croissant brekky I had: 

Feeling better?

Or this?

How to make oat milk

The second I learnt to make oat milk, I ended my career as a soya milk fabricator. This is it, I found my vocation and God Almighty, how easy is this! WHAT was I doing laboriously making soya milk? The recipe is so simple that you will hit yourself. 

Ingredients:

1 cup oats, grain, NOT rolled

3 cups water

1/2 tsp vanilla essence

1 pinch salt

1 tbsp sweetener of your preference

Method:

Soak the oats for either a few hours or overnight. 

Rinse, rinse and rinse well.

Add a cup of water and blend till you get a smooth cream.

Add the other 2 cups of water and the rest of the ingredients and stir well. 

Strain. Bottle. 

See, I wasn't kidding when I told you this was easy, right? 

This should last you 3-4 days in the fridge. With the leftover sludge, I make pancakes or porridge or add it as a thickener in soups. Ta-taan!

Homage to Veg

Veg, that humble meal component, down the ladder from Protein, down the ladder from Carb and boiled beyond recognition, is given a pitiful place in the modern plate. My heart bleeds and ergo below, my homage to you, you noble thing! 

Artichoke heart with ham, La Palmera, Barcelona, Spain

Get some artichoke hearts, fry some ham and then lay it on top of your artichoke, drizzle with olive oil and add a flower. How can you resist this?

Grilled mushrooms, Restaurante El Pigot, Montsant, Spain

Whoever says that the best restaurants are in the city, is an ass. Where does all the fresh produce come from, may I ask? Those seasonal grilled mushrooms above, which are making you slobber, was in a country restaurant, grilled and drizzled with garlic oil and then sprinkled with parsley. Heaven!

Courgette, Buca Mario, Florence, Italy

I love Florence, apart from the art and history, tis a glutton's delight. Of the week I spent there, I remember ONE mediocre meal. This is where I learnt that courgettes need not necessarily be cooked but just sliced into ribbons (use a mandolin or vegetable peeler at a pinch) and dressed with parmesan, pine nuts and truffle oil, can be a feast for a Queen!

Padrón peppers, Cerveceria Catalana, Barcelona, Spain

Padrón peppers are supposedly grown next to chilli peppers and though mild in themselves, due to proximity to such dangerous neighbours, can produce that one pepper which will send you screaming for water, eyes pouring, ears smoking. Tis like Russian roulette, but with slightly more chances of survival. Plain fried and then liberally sprinkled with salt, a slow and wary delight.

Alba, Barcelona, Spain

Here is another example of grilled veg (the cauliflower was parboiled) but served with a romescu sauce, a very typical sauce of the region where I live. Here is a decent recipe of this sauce. It goes well with pretty much everything so try it!

Parboiled veg, Bratislava, Slovakia

The Chinese make wonderful veg and it took me a while to figure out how they got their veg just the right side of crunchy - parboiling! Duh! 

Wakame, Bratislava, Slovakia

People tend to forget sea veg when we talk about vegetables. Your favourite vinaigrette or soya and rice vinegar/mirin poured over this edible seaweed and voilá! Here is a nice and simple vinaigrette, Japanese style. 

Kimchi, Ramen-ya hiro, Barcelona, Spain

How about pickled? Do you like pickled? Kimchi, Korean pickled cabbage is something I can eat by the bowlful. Not only is it delicious but tis packed with nutrition. For a non Korean, it seems like a bitch to prepare but it really isn't. This explains it rather well.

Raw veg with nut sauce, Bar Ton, Barcelona, Spain

When the weather is hot, there is nothing better than a raw veg dish to fill your tum without warming your cockles. Add some spiced oil with some nuts and mmmmmmmm

Mushrooms, El Champiñon, Madrid, Spain

What about roasted? Add some chorizo, drizzle some olive oil and bung in your oven for about 10 minutes.

Parmesan and aubergine, Lo de Flor, Barcelona, Spain

Here is a meal on its own, plenty of parmesan, grated over a tomatoe base with grilled aubergine in the middle. Delicious. heavy and warming as a winter dish!

Steamed veg, Bratislava, Slovakia

And back to lighter fare, just steam 'em!

Re-visiting 'Pinxos'

I am a pig - there are no two ways to look at it :-(

Jamón pinxo

I revisited my 'pinxo' place, a week is not cold. But to my defence, I only ate 10 instead of 16 'pinxos'. That's something, right? Whereas last time I scarfed everything with barely any pics, I was more sedate this time AND took photos of the stunning examples of amazing food here.

Foie with cream of balsamic 

A good 'pinxo', like a good Sangría, must be made with good ingredients; the bread involved MUST be thinly cut and of the type of baguette that is crunchy and fresh. Many places fill you up on the thickly cut bread they serve as part of their 'pinxo' and now you know why.

Quail's egg with mayo, prawn and olive with onion and parsley garnish

Ideally, 'pinxo' should be an appetiser, have 3-4 and a drink while waiting for your restaurant reservation hour or your friend/family meal time.

Cod with pepper

But what the heck, no rules...