Dedicated to Salad Haters

Octopus salad with soya vinaigrette in Restaurant 'La Mar Salada'

You knew this was coming, right? So just let me get this out of the way real fast and then we can get back on track again.

The world is divided between those who like salad and those who don't. Therefore, this post is dedicated to those who don't like salad coz you salad lovers are already on my side ;-)

So, salad haters, why do you hate salad so much? Is it because salad and diets are so inextricably linked in our current culture? Is it because as far as you are concerned, a salad is just some watery lettuce with onion rings, olives, tuna and hard tomatoes (typical salad in Spain and one which I personally loathe for its lack of imagination)? Or is it coz you just hate the taste of 'salad'?

As far as I am concerned, a salad can be the quickest, most nutritious one-plate meal you actually don't need to cook and, has fed my body and soul many a time. And I really believe that you just cannot NOT love a good salad when I have finished with you and this post!

Let's de-compose a western salad into its constituent parts so you can understand what exactly makes a salad a good salad. Know thine enemy, right?

Spinach, chicken and ricotta salad with orange and oil vinaigrette

Part 1: The Leaves/Greens:
This IS a salad. You gotta have some greens! Make that 50% of the solid ingredients. And please, don't tell me that that cold pasta dish with some tuna thrown in is a pasta salad because I will whack you. Hard. 
There are SO many leaves to choose between and not just that damn iceberg lettuce that most people use. I personally find no use for an iceberg except as chow for your pet snail or tortoise. C'mon people, be BOLD and go for some or other variation of those found here ! Which reminds me, in which universe will the banana die out but not an iceberg? 
Leftover veggies are kickass in a salad. Or just raw - tomatoes, celery, mushrooms, avocado, fennel.. You can steam/roast/ grill most veg and once it has cooled down, add it to your salad.
Fruit - you can even add a handful of fruit and it's still a salad and not dessert! Swoon. Most fruits go well except bananas, durian or anything fleshy. Try mandarin segments or cherries ( in which case don't add honey in your dressing or raisins/prunes as extra), or strawberries or any berries and you'll be in heaven!

Steamed broccoli with crispy tofu, feta & sesame oil

Part 2: The Carby base:
This will make your salad into a meal rather than a 1st course, if that's what you want. Make sure it is about 20% of the solid ingredients.
Again, tons of elements to choose from:
Rice - brown, wild, red, white - you choose
Potatoes - boiled, steamed, with peel, without..even straw potatoes, for god's sake!
Croutons - garlicky? oven? fried? None? I opt for none coz I generally hate croutons. Shhh, don't tell anyone.
Couscous - wholemeal? normal?
Quinoa - very nutty
Pasta - you wanna Penne? Campanelle rings your bell? Conchiglie makes you come out of your shell? Jeez, try any of those here, they DON'T bite. 
Polenta - please cut into bite sized pieces.

Part 3: The Protein:
This should be about 25% of the solid ingredients unless you are adding cheese, which should be 10%
a. The protein will give you muscle. And that's not a promise.
Some ideas:

Spring greens salad with nuts, Barton restaurant

Fish - ANY, tinned, fresh, fried, roasted, smoked..
Beef, pork , chicken, turkey...
Vegetarians can add: Eggs, tofu, seitan, quorn, lentils, any beans, chickpeas, tempeh..
b. Cheese: Any and every except the really gooey ones. Holy Moly, here is a very cheesy cheasecyclopedia to help you choose. WARNING: Only a small handful else the meal becomes very calorific and you don't want that. 

Part 4: The extras:
5% or a tablespoonful.
Nuts, seeds, raisins/ prunes/dried apricots and other dried fruit. Candied fruit: No bloody way!

Ricotta, parmesan and pear salad with a sesame dressing

Part 5: The Dressing:
BEST bit! But please don't drown your salad in the dressing. Just coat it AND IN THE LAST MINUTE! Else the God of Wilted Salads will pay you a visit.
You can add mayo if you want something unhealthy and bland but I advice you to leave the mayo where it belongs, with tuna ;-)

The vinaigrette decomposes into:
a. The oil - Healthy examples would be - olive, walnut, sesame, peanut, hazelnut oil. Any infused oil will do too, anything except coconut oil because UGH
b. The acid - vinegar ( wine, balsamic, apple...), lemon, lime, acidic yoghurt (leave it out for the whole day), tart mashed tomatoes..
c. Salt - normal? himalayan? flakes?

Feta, walnut, raisin with balsamic and mustard dressing

black - kinda strong as it tastes like a fart
d. Optional spices - pepper, paprika, chilli, cinnamon ( in minute quantities), cumin
e. Optional herbs - coriander, parsley, basil, chives, thyme and rosemary in minute quantities since they can overpower a salad...
f. Optional condiments - mustard, soya sauce, fish sauce  ( use with caution), Worcestershire sauce, even honey ( coz I don't know where to put this so will just chuck it here), tartar etc

Mandarin and pine nut salad with balsamic/oil vinaigrette

The rule of thumb is generally 1 part acid to 3 parts oil and the rest as you will. Experiment and see what quantities you prefer. I find that adding mustard means that I need to reduce the vinegar while adding lemon instead of vinegar means I need to increase the oil ratio. 

Still think salad is iceberg ( damn you , Iceberg: You have ruined the appetites of many and I hope you go to hell) and some tomatoes? Feeling frisky and wanna try something new with my simple guidelines? GO FOR IT. Be like Nike: JUST DO IT

Roast vegetable salad with balsamic/oil dressing

Fig, endive & sunflower seed with olive oil/passion fruit vinaigrette

Thai raw papaya salad in Brussels